A thought from C.S. Lewis

Rats in the Cellar

We begin to notice, besides our particular sinful acts, our sinfulness; begin to be alarmed not only about what we do, but about what we are. This may sound rather difficult, so I will try to make it clear from my own case. When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected; I was caught off my guard, I had not time to collect myself. Now that may be an extenuating circumstance as regards those particular acts: they would obviously be worse if they had been deliberate and premeditated. On the other hand, surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light.
~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, (1952)

Quote of the Day

This quote came from little Andrew in Mrs. Porter's kindergarten class that I volunteer with. We're just sitting there, working on our "U" booklets, when he randomly says:

"If anyone wants to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, you can just come over to my house because we are always reading the scriptures. We have like 4 bibles and 10 scriptures."

hahah I wish you could hear this in his voice. He anunciates really well, almost spits his words out. so cute! Also, Jorren (not Mrs. Porter's favourite student... but definitely one of my favourites) stood up for me today! I was telling Dallin to avoid stroking the paint brush, but do little splotches instead (we were painting like Monet), and he replied something like "I know how do to it okay?" and then wonderul little Jorren said: "Dallin, don't be rude to her."

I KNEW we had a special bond!

Tension

I thought I would share a poem of my favourite (well, America's favourite too) contemporary poet, Billy Collins. His poems are so hilarious, I could post like 50 of them. The background of this poem is:
He was teaching a fiction writing class at some university. Now, he doesn't actually write fiction, so he was reading a book about how to write fiction and then teaching what he learned to his students. One rule in the book was: Never use the word "suddenly" just to create tension. He smiled because he got an idea for a poem--because poets don't have to follow those rules.

TENSION by Billy Collins

Suddenly, you were planting some yellowpetunias
outside in the garden,
and suddenly I was in the study
looking up the word oligarchy for the thirty-seventh time.

When suddenly, without warning,
you planted the last petunia in the flat,
and I suddenly closed the dictionary
now that I was reminded of that vile form of governance.

A moment later, we found ourselves
standing suddenly in the kitchen
where you suddenly opened a can of cat food
and I just as suddenly watched you doing that.

I observed a window of leafy activity
and beyond that, a bird perched on the edge
of the stone birdbath
when suddenly you announced you were leaving

to pick up a few things at the market
and I stunned you by impulsively
pointing out that we were getting low on butter
and another case of wine would not be a bad idea.

Who could tell what the next moment would hold?
another drip from the faucet?
another little spasm of the second hand?
Would the painting of a bowl of pears continue

to hang on the wall from that nail?
Would the heavy anthologies remain on the shelves?
Would the stove hold its position?
Suddenly, it was anyone’s guess.

The sun rose ever higher in the sky.
The state capitals remained motionless on the wall map
when suddenly I found myself lying on a couch
where I closed my eyes and without any warning

began to picture the Andes, of all places,
and a path that led over the mountains to another country
with strange customs and eye-catching hats,
each one suddenly fringed with colorful little tassels.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...

Tuesday starting out as what I imagined Alexander's (^) terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day must've been like. The night before, I set my alarm for 6:30 thinking I always look awful for my 8:00 class. I'm actually going to get ready this time. I woke up on Tuesday morning to banging on my door. I slowly fell out of my bed and opened the door, wondering who the heck would be doing that in the middle of the night. Turns out, it wasn't the middle of the night--it was 7:47 a.m. and it was Whitney ready to walk to school with me! "Shuut UP" was all I could say as I slammed the door (I apologized to her later).

Fast forward to 8:01 a.m. (ONLY 14 MINUTES LATER) and I burst throught the Maeser building doors and up the stairs into my Comms class. I was a little bit mad at myself but mostly just proud that I was able to get there so fast. This pride lasted only a few minutes until the professor asked for our papers to be turned in to the TA....... oops. I didn't think it was that big of a deal though, I would turn it in later and still get partial credit for it--it wasn't a huge assignment anyway. Wrong again! It was one of two major assignments for the whole year and according to the syllabus, which I read when I got home, NO late work is accepted. I decided I would take my paper to the TA during her office hours anyway. SO after Creative Writing, I quickly spit out this paper in the 40-minute break before Book of Mormon. Then, right after Book of Mormon I ran to the library, printed it out, and hustled over to the TA's office JUST in time.

This probably doesn't sound as hectic as it really was. It actually doesn't sound that bad at all, but for whatever reason it was probably my worst day at BYU yet.

So I'm on the top floor of the Brimhall when I look outside and see that it is POURING rain. Then I look regrettably down at my flipflops, capris, and short sleeve t-shirt, which were perfectly appropriate when I left the dorm that morning. By the time I reach the bottom floor of the Brimhall and am about to leave, I see that it is now hailing! big chunks of hard snow! I just wanted to be home already, so I didn't even consider waiting it out.

Now picture me: I am walking home slowly (so my flip flops wouldn't slip on the wet sidewalks.. which they ended up doing anyway...). My greasy woke-up-13-minutes-before-class hair is now drenched in rain. My clothes are soaked as well. I get hit in the head by one of those hard banana-shaped leaf things on the trees down here. The skittles I bought as a pick-me-up spill over in my vest pocket as I bounce down the stairs by the RB. I try to catch them, but miss mostly and just end up getting stained with wet skittle-paint all over.

I wanted to cry.

And all it took was this mental image. I pictured how ridiculous I must've looked, and couldn't help but laugh. I was bent over in laughter by the time I got to the bottom of the stairs. hahahah I still laugh out loud just thinking about it. It was all so cliché! It was so typically horrible that it was hilarious.

The hail storm made that awful day one of my favourite memories. Isn't that nice?

A Little Lovin'

Today is Valentine's Day! I thought I would post a few fun things that I love.

1. I love the song"Killing Me Softly" by Roberta Flack. Best lyrics ever written. It's cool because the words to this song were written in a poem by this lady (whose name I forget) who heard Don McLean singing his song "Empty Chairs" - which is amazingly my favourite love lost song. So one of my favourites inspired my very favourite! Cool huh?

2. I love the book and movie (new version) Pride and Prejudice. (In vain I have struggled, it will not do. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.)

3. I love (but this is a pretty shallow use of the word) Korean soap operas. The one I'm watching now (which translates in to "Full House" but we call it "Pull House" because that's how Whitney's mom says it) is about this complex love square between Han Ji-eun, the movie star Lee Young Jae who bought Ji-eun's house without her consent (her stupid pregnant friends sold it while she was on vacation), Young Jae's childhood friend Yoo Min Hyuk, and this other woman Kang Hae Won. I've finished 2 discs, but I still can't decide if Ji-eun should be with Young Jae or Min Hyuk. I'm kind of leaning towards Min Hyuk, but I don't think she'll end up with him because he is too focused on his work and she needs someone to take good care of her (because she's been along since her parents died in middle school).

4. I love BYU. I love Helaman Halls, I love the ramp up to campus, I love the side-walk chalk that sometimes covers it, I love waiting for the walk signal to cross the street, I love walking through the Tanner Building just for fun because people dress nice in there, I love the H-FAC and how confusing it is, I love all the people who are in love, I love the Honor Code, I love the handicapped people in the RB on Thursdays, I love BYU sports, I love all the weirdos. I love a lot more than this too, it's just that I got an idea for #5 and now really want to move on to it.

5. I love Mrs. Porter's Kindergarten class at Wasatch! I'm really glad American Heritage decided not to make service a requirement this year, because now I can go for the reason of I want to. And I love it every time! This week, my station read a book about Valentine's Day (a page of which said "I see a kiss," which was followed by remarks like WHAT?, GROSS, NEXT PAGE, etc.) and then we "Heart Attacked" the door - the kids would pick a heart from the box, show me that they could read the word on it, and then go stick it on the door. Cute cute kids.

6. I love Marilyn Miller's "I have lost my heart again. I pray I will not lose my head. Amen." poetry book (that my mama gave me :)). I'll put in one of my favourites because it's short:

"I didn't want to see you
Ever again,
Yet, when you came
I promptly forgot what it was about you
That gave me a pain."

ha. been there.

7. I love LOVE. One of those poems talks about this guy saying he's never fallen in love. And then she says "As for me, I'm always in love." She talks about being in love with everything around her and finding happiness in that way. And I want to be like that. It reminds me of a quote by Sister Hinckley that was in this book Alma gave me for graduation. I can't remember the whole thing, and I can only find this part of it on the internet:

"With intellectual curiosity the world will always be full of magic and wonder."

Basically, I just want to find love in everything.

8. I love Canada. Boy do I love Canada.

That's all for now, but I assume most of my posts will be about things I love. PEOPLE I love would also be a good one. I think I'll do that soon. Happy Valentine's Day!

Mission Calls!

I love BYU!!! sometimes I just feel like screaming this, and yesterday was definitely one of those times.

8 boys from my ward got their mission calls yesterday––Mexico, Brazil, Utah, Russia, Texas, and Vancouver so far, and the others are opening theirs with their families soon. So exciting. I want one...

With Benson going to the Philippines, Max going to Mexico, my friend Sean already heading to Brazil soon, Jonathan going to Mexico this month too, and all these new ones... these boys are seriously covering the world!! It's such an exciting, happy happy work.

friends make graphs together

My friends are coming to visit me!!! And in preparation for their arrival I've been listening to this song about true friendship:




"Friends walk together
La La La La
Pop and Lock Together
Zzi zzu Zzi zzu..."
hahaha