Most. Embarassing. Story. Ever.

I start laughing just thinking about this story. I will probably be laughing out loud the whole time I write this. As much as I don't want you to picture it in your mind while you read it... you really have to. Seriously, PICTURE THIS:

This year I was lucky enough to go to conference!! I didn't think I was going to get the chance until I got a call from my good friend Seth asking if I wanted to go with him! I wore this cute black dress that happened to need a cami underneath. Since I forgot my black tanktop at home, I ended up wearing this tight black tube-slip thing under my dress to substitute for my missing camisole. I also curled my hair, which was nice for about 5 minutes until it rained and blew-like-the-dickens on the walk to Temple Square, making me look pretty dumpy for the rest of the day - but that's beside the point. So here we are at conference–Seth, me, Sam (Seth's roommate), and Sam's date Kiersten. We find the location of our seats and then I leave to go to the washroom. (Yes, this embarrassing moment is associated with the bathroom.)

I go to the bathroom and exit the stall.... with the back of my dress tucked all the way up under my black tube dress underneath, which BARELY covers my bottom. I had absolutely no idea - it was completely fine in the front. So here I go, leaving the bathroom stall, walking to the sink, washing my hands at the sink, fixing my hair at the sink, putting on lip-chap at the sink, then finally leaving the bathroom (which was, by the way, FULL of people - people with eyes and mouths but apparently no feelings! What could they possibly have been thinking: Oh dear, that girl's dress is tucked in her underwear... but maybe she wants it that way. Yes, I'm sure she wants her dress tucked in her underwear.). I leave the bathroom, make my way through the hallway (also full of people – female and male now), enter the conference room, stand at the top of the section looking for my people, take the journey like three quarters of the way down the section (passing rows and rows of people on the way), THEN I spot my group sitting in the middle - OF COURSE - of the row, so I have to pass by half the people in our row to get to them: "Excuse me, can I just sneak through here.... Thanks.... I'm so sorry about this.... I'm just going right to that chair over there.... Boy, they sure make these rows close together.... So Sorry.... Excuse me...." I felt SO bad making all those people sit up straight in their seats so I could pass–it's always so awkward. HA. If only I'd known that I should have been apologizing for the disgusting display of my upper upper thighs, which were literally at their eye level. ON CONFERENCE SUNDAY, no less! I can't believe this seriously happened to me. So much for trying to be modest by wearing that cursed slip! So I finally get to the middle of the row and take my seat. My dress feels kind of bunched under me. That always happens. I lean forward quickly slide my hands under to smooth out my dress. It didn't smooth out. That never happens. And then I realized it.

I COULD HAVE DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But the rest of the date went well.