Do I really want to study advertising? I woke up this morning feeling very unsettled about my major. It's fun and everything, but will I really benefit from it throughout my life? Because chances are, I'm not going to work for a big ad agency for the rest of my life. I mean, I could graduate and get a great job in one of the five biggest cities in the U.S. (as most ad grads from byu do) and probably be very successful, but do I really want that? I don't know. I do know that I want to be a mother. And what good will knowing all about advertising techniques do me there? Even if I'm not a mother, do I really want to advertise as my life career? Wouldn't I rather work with people, helping someone somehow, making a difference in the lives and world around me? Is advertising the best way to do that? Right now, I don't think so. Right now, I don't think it even comes close.
I thought after my freshman year I was supposed to know what I wanted to become. All of my friends are well on their way to the rest of their lives. But I'm still here, content with almost every aspect of my life. I love my advertising class, but I don't know if I belong in it. It's funny, because in high school - a time where I often felt insecure and out of place - I still did just about every single thing I deep down wanted to do. I knew what I loved, so I did those things. I played the piano for the high school choir, I was editor of the school newspaper, I taught piano lessons, I was the ward organist, I played volleyball and softball and basketball whenever I could, and I was the best writer in my class. For those reasons, I loved my high school experience.
Now, I'm loving my university experience, but for other reasons. Every new day I feel like I am becoming who I'm supposed to be. I actually do feel the ways I am changing. Spiritually and socially, I can be myself here, which is something I can't necessarily say about other places (and there is no one to blame for this but myself. Still, it's the truth.) I make friends easily and find interest in everyone around me. Every person has so much to offer. I am exploring myself, and finding more than I thought I would.
I am happy. I just need some guidance. If I could combine the two very different feelings of accomplishment I've felt in both high school and university, I think I would be set. I just want to feel content with the education I'm pursuing. I want to know what I'm supposed to do for the rest of my life. I don't think que sera sera is going to cut it for much longer.
4 comments:
Sounds like you have a lot to think about! You will be successful at whatever you decide to do and you will have the love and support of your family as you work towards that goal. I think it is important to pick your major based on what you enjoy and what you are good at. As much as you want to be a mother, I don't believe you can pick a major just based on how it will help you as a mother as you don't know when that day will come (although I believe sooner than later;-). Plus if you stayed in advertising your children would have the best darn presentations ever! When I started at BYU I chose to major in psychology. I still remember the day I was walking through the Home and family life building and feeling the need to switch my major. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace once I switched. when you decide what you want to do, and pray about it, the Lord will bless you with that same reassurance. You are not expected to know all the answers now, that is part of the journey. Enjoy it while you can because before you know it your days at BYU will be behind you and you will wonder where the time went. Love you lots and I believe in you.
ps. once again you amaze me with your ability to express your thoughts. you are an awesome writer!
if you ask me, i'd say you're right on track. i had the same crisis the end of my freshmen year and went and met with a counselor and came up with a list of new options. aaand then again at the end of my sophomore year. aaand once more at the end of junior year. i agree with tracey - just find something you love, and study it! you will gain knowledge that will be applicable to parenting in any major out there. the experiences you're having and the social/spiritual growth you mentioned will help you prepare to parent more than anything, so feel good knowing that you are already shaping yourself as a future mother. as far as a major goes - in my experience, once you find it you will just feel more settled. if you're not feeling settled about advertising then it's probably good you're learning that early on. you've been blessed with talent coming out your ears in so many areas so i can see how choosing one thing to pursue might feel overwhelming, but knowledge is a lifelong pursuit. just because you don't get a BS in music or english or advertising doesn't mean that you won't continue to develop and use those talents in your future. you WILL make a difference in the world, little girl. whose world is yet to be seen, but i'd say you're right on track to becoming that person. call me later and we'll talk majors. i've tested out a few and might be able to help :)
love you toots.
oh wow Alli, that was right on. Amelia, you're pretty amazing. I've seen it and I've heard all about it from Cj and Alli :) In the best way - I remember them always talking about you and (this is a secret - hoping that my siblings talked about me like that haha :) You really will be such a huge influence to everybody, no matter what you're feeling now or what you choose to study, that is for sure. I'm sure you wanted to hear that :) sorry for rambling. I read your post I think the day you posted it and thought about it some then and then some more in the last few days. Honestly, I don't know why I studied what I did. Sometimes I sit in the Aerospace Engineering class I student teach for and think, "How in the world did I end up here?" :) But I remember making that decision and deciding that this was something that I was going to do, so I needed to put my whole heart into it. And for me, that was when the peace came. When I decided that whatever this was what I was doing, I was going to remember the person I wanted to be and make that happen with it. I really feel that there were other options I could have chosen, but this was something I enjoyed, something I felt the Lord approved of through prayer, and so I dedicated myself to it. And I had my goals: be a good mommy :), serve in the Church, learn how to become like my Heavenly Father. And always keeping my goals in mind has been an incredible help. I tried to find ways to accomplish those goals through my coursework, although technology and engineering education never seemed like an obvious way to do that. But taking initiative and praying about and remembering my goals helped me try to do what I started to do. Even the most random classes I had to take, on the days when I remembered and wasn't lazy, I could feel the Spirit helping me realize how something that was said would help me. (even if it was to stop judging the crazy comment the girl just made :)I had goals to keep up my piano talent (which I know you will do), so I found every excuse to perform publicly. I wanted to keep up whatever soccer talent I still had deep deep down in me haha, so I played. I tried to do all the things I loved doing, and get all I could out of the major I chose. I love the scripture
But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always.. ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.
In all things that we do, if we just make sure to include the Lord, He will use us. I'm a long long ways from where I would hope to be, but I feel like taking advantage of all BYU had to offer, and then making my coursework fit with those things was a good choice. I think learning how to teach and how students develop mentally will help in raising children. The awesome (and random) things I know how to do because of what I studied are going to make my kid's lives crazy exciting haha. I've learned patience and understanding. In our ward, Matt and I just got called to be Webelos CubScout leaders and how appropriate is that for water bottle rockets and CO2 wood cars right? :) Atleast for me, I felt like it wasn't what I chose that made a difference, just a resolve to try to be the best in that thing regardless.
I know this isn't helping you, and I think that whole shpiel was for me because I've never really written it down. This should have just stayed in the future journal entry where it belongs :) But you're great. It's hard, but soon enough you'll feel comfortable in that thing you choose. Good luck! Read that comment above mine again, you have a pretty wise sister :)
woooo went a little overboard :)
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